Free Fish

I HAVE A FISH!!!
I don't have the name for the fish yet and I want to get a bigger tank soon with more fish.

I go to the University of New Haven. In West Haven, CT.

I thought college was going to be difficult. Hopefully I don't jinks myself by saying this but it's pretty easy. Well the materials you need and amount to of assignments are overwhelming, it's a lot to organize but once I get my my day planner today from Target I'll be set.

My roommates are amazing. We all get along. Half the time we leave our doors unlock so we all can come in and out of each others' rooms throughout the day. I know that sounds crazy and that shit doesn't happen in NYC. lol.

I know this is random but I've been watching True Blood. AMAZING show.
Sexxxyyy as hell, Literally its about vampires. Although this show is completely different from any vampire story I know. I always skip the into song because it's too disgusting.

Since I've been in college I have been able to write a poem but I feel like it will happen soon. So wait for that one.

peace.

Boardgame Relationship

Her tears hit my earth like bombs
Leaving my room holding onto my
Door frame hoping it will protect
Me from this earthquake of pain

Maybe it’s what I’ve seen
Him walking out the bathroom
Waiting to receive the blow he placed upon my mom
Seeing her vision in his hands

Maybe it’s what I’ve felt
His eyes piercing my eight year-old’s happiness
Disney’s happily everafters shattered
Throwing her glasses upon my feet

Maybe it’s what I’ve heard
Her tears in the shower
Telling me it’s okay
It’s going to be okay
But the damage is done
It’s what I’ve seen, felt, and heard


Rewind
She said it was a game, she was playing
Where her tears were the leverage

Board game: Relationship
Players: 2 no more, no less
Materials: tearful dreams, hopeful pain, and a man to blame
Instructions:
He must piss you off!
(Because God forbid women use the voice we have so longed fought for.)
Forget the Alice Pauls and Sojourner’s truth
Let him slap the pain away
Let the volume of his voice be the only sound within your mental frame, evaporating your tangible dreams
How to Win:
He leaves you for his wife.
Pause:
What happened to Jenga, Connect 4, Mother may I, Red light Green light, Tetris, jump rope, Monopoly, Twister, ping pong, Ms. Pac man, hop scotch or Super Mario Brothers


Fast Forward:
Hey mom, I don’t need to play your hitting, yelling, shoving games because I have a man that won’t lay a hand.
Warning: Hazardous to true love and your daughter of 8
HAVE FUN!

Marathon of Spoken Word poetry.

I am going to put up most of my poems up because it's early in the morning and I don't have the enegry to preform them in a video. So later on I'm going to put up some videos.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

- William Shakespeare Sonnet 116

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I have never been in love that is outside of the friend and family zone. And this is the closest definition of true love that I have ever read. I've only felt a fraction of this love from my past boyfriends. You know what I think is pretty fucked up. The boy I have always liked in school has always liked me too but I had a boyfriend at the time. Now I can't even go out with him because I am leaving for school in a few weeks. Timing sucks, it would would have been a nice relationship to have.

I am actually going to get this as a tattoo on my left side. Which would be tattoo number 3. Only a few people have seen my tattoos bc they are personal to me.

Ode to Tired.

Swollen vocal cords
depleting words
touch loss
sound sightless
taste dwindle
haze movement
vision disorientated
sweat whips across
eyelids
droop
Keys dropped
dream doors
Locked
chained down
weariness
tainted
slumber
restless Nightmares
Twitches
spinal cords
missing
thoughts
discontinued
brain cells
acid memories
salts
outlook
dreary
bones
weigh
Agitated
Souls

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I wrote this 2/8/09 around 1am. There wasn't any deep meaningful explanation around this poem. I was just tired and wrote an Ode to being tired.

Overwhelming Emotions

I’m beating at the answers
Black and blues cover the solutions
Swollen words can’t speak
Where is my white flag?
My salvation of sentences
over thinking
I wish I was an empty shell
Hollowing out experiences
Why can’t I trade my emotions for clarity
Refund my choices
Discount on self-consciousness
over thinking
Confusion gain me enough
Frequent Flier miles
Cashing in my benefits
I request Peace of mind
Steady heart beat
Road map to my journeybecause my legs are giving out on this rocky road
I scream for secrets lying within to breach
Ligaments needs to wash off the grim of guilt
over thinking
I’m not your mother so why do I keep on trying to protect you from my thoughts
Trying not to be baggage under your eyes
Trying to trend on ice with steel boots
Trying not to look desperate for the right words
over thinking
Thoughts run rampant racing rationality
Anonymously tipping into YOU
Unbalancing MY needs

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I don't remeber when I wrote this poem but I remeber why. This is how my ex use to make me feel everytime I was around him. The overthinking is in yellow bc that's his fav color. I always overthink my movements, thoughts, and words when I'm around him. This is my 1st blog. I can hear E.La (my bff) saying FINALLY...lol